Healthy Relationship Quiz
Check off the following attitudes and behaviors that are present in your relationship. Have each partner complete the survey separately.
Communication is open and spontaneous (this includes listening).
Rules and boundaries are clear and explicit, yet allow for flexibility.
Individuality, freedom, and personal identity is enhanced.
Each person enjoys doing things for themselves, as well as for the other.
Play, humor, and having fun together is commonplace.
Each does not attempt to “fix” or control the other.
Acceptance of self and other (for our real selves).
Assertiveness: feelings and needs are expressed.
Humility: able to let go of a need to “be right.”
Self-confidence and security in one’s own worth.
Conflict is faced directly and resolved.
Openness to constructive feedback.
Each is trustful of the other.
Balance of giving and receiving.
Negotiations are fair and democratic.
Tolerance: forgiveness of self and other.
Mistakes are accepted and learned from.
Willingness to take risks and be vulnerable.
Other meaningful relationships and interests exist.
Each can enjoy being alone and privacy is respected.
Personal growth, change and exploration is encouraged.
Continuity and consistency is present in the commitment.
Balance of closeness and separation from each other.
Each takes responsibility for their own behavior and happiness (not blaming each other).
Compare your answers with your partner’s.
Then, make a list of all the items that neither of you checked. Discuss the importance of these characteristics. If there are several, and you feel they are important, discuss how you can work toward achieving these goals. If you struggle to communicate, or can not agree on important characteristics of a healthy relationship you may consider counselling.